Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
