Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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