A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
