dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
