i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We are all done wearing pants today
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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