Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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