If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
