Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this just has baby written all over it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
