just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
