one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
