The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
