It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
