well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
