rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
