I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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