I think I died a long time ago.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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