Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im just a social blackout drinker.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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