i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you win again, gameday.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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