I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
