Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You smell like stripper and shame
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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