I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
