Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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