What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
