What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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