What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
