eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
