Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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