he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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