Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
