Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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