I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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