I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
