Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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