if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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