Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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