i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
