Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
