Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
