How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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