Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
