ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
