Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
