dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
