A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm at about main and main street
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
