Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
