So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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