This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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