uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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