I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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