mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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