I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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