if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
